Maybe one of you thinks your humble abode is a bit too humble and needs a complete makeover. But the other believes “there is nothing wrong with the way it is now!” When it comes to the decorating process, men tend to say, “What’s wrong with white walls?” or “Why do we need window treatments? We have blinds.”

Whether a couple is simply starting out, merging two previouslyestablished households, or redecorating an outdated look, different views on style can morph into great disagreements over how to furnish a space. He likes blue. She loves yellow. He must have polished concrete countertops. She wants granite. He doesn’t see the need for drapes. She wants floor-to-ceiling, soft-top silk drapes with a pole swag fabric valance.

Are you running for the woods yet? Don’t despair. I have helped many couples trek the decorating path. The good news is that this process doesn’t have to become a rancorous one.

Let’s start by looking at some of the top décor battles between the sexes. Understanding why your other half feels the way he or she does will help the two of you compromise. While there are exceptions to any rule, the following are general views typical of the male as opposed to the female.

Can you agree on how much to spend and on what?

Determining how much to allocate to your remodel or room makeover is probably the most important decision.

Both men and women lean toward spending more on items that they feel are most important. For example, men might find it acceptable to spend half of their budget on a television and surround sound, while women might find it necessary to spend a couple thousand dollars on bedding—not including the bed. What if that budget has to cover 10 other improvements around the home? How can you distribute the budget to please both without breaking the bank?

Women prefer color, while men are more tolerant of colorless atmospheres. Men tend to gravitate towards muted colors and earth tones, while women favor the use of bright floral colors. Women want soft, feminine textures. They find these choices cozy and inviting, while men find them too girly, too “fu-fu.”

Color is the scene of one of the biggest design battles. And how do you get this project off the ground when you can’t even agree on what color to paint the walls?

What men consider clutter, women deem ‘accessories’.

Men tend to enjoy clean, uncluttered spaces, but women can always find the space for something new.

When it comes to seating choices, men prefer large-scale pie are comfortable, often in dark leather. Women like lighter-colored upholstery, curved shapes, and details like skirts, cording, and extra pillows. Speaking of extra pillows, men, have you ever wondered why she insists on having a million pillows on the bed that just end up on the floor every night?

Women, have you tried explaining that the pillows serve a very useful decorative purpose—they’re pretty?

Sound familiar? He insists on displaying his collection of beers from around the world, and she insists on keeping her grandmother’s Victorian rocking chair.

Where do they go from here? Can there really be a happy union between beer and Victorian furniture?

Without open communication, compromise, patience, and understanding, even the most useful information will not solve your decorating differences.

Set some time aside with your partner and go over your vision, your likes and dislikes. Communicate your views and be careful not to criticize one another’s tastes. Go over the items or changes for the remodel or redesign and express the reasons behind them.

Did you know that he wants a new bed because he has had back pain?

He is expressing the need for a new bed when in reality a better mattress will serve his purpose. Or did you know she wants to keep a painting that doesn’t really go with much because it has sentimental value?

Perhaps you can find a space where it won’t clash.

Once you have established some common ground or have a better understanding of why you want certain changes, make note of your accomplishments. List your common goals. You are now on your way to making this a smoother journey. Perhaps you discover that you both want wine-colored walls or that you each want to keep an heirloom antique table. A decision such as wall color or style of furniture can dictate your design path and allow other elements to fall into place.

If you have found that you cannot agree on colors, style, or budget, compromise by deciding what is really important to both of you.

Is having the flower-patterned pillows important or is the color in the flower pattern what you really covet? Take colors in a pattern that you like and apply those colors to solid fabrics or to a more masculine pattern such as stripes. Is the sight of leather really unbearable, or can you try a fabric-upholstered sofa along with a leather chair?

You may not understand why she must have a bunch of pillows on the bed, but she has agreed to keep your lucky game chair. Offer to accept something the other wants in return for something you want.

Designate areas you can call your own

If you have not been able to bridge the style gap and having “your own space” is most desirable, then I would suggest doing just that. Some partners are OK with relinquishing design participation in most areas of the home as long as they can have a space they call their own to decorate as they please without interference.

Hiring an interior decorator is also a great way to resolve differences. The added value of a professional can potentially help you avoid serious disagreements, save you time and money, and give you the opportunity to view alternatives that you might not have considered.

Each of you should communicate your design desires directly to the decorator. It is then up to the decorator to suggest suitable compromises and incorporate elements that will please both parties. The end result should be a space that is both functional for him and beautiful for her.